118: The Delegator [Season 1 Finale]
NERMUT gets a promotion.
Illustration by Eric Geusz
+ Episode Transcript
C-RED-IT5: This is C-RED-IT5 with an announcement. The following episode is the season 1 finale of Mission to Zyxx. Thank you for listening.
Narrator: The period of civil war has ended. The rebels have defeated the evil galactic monarchy and established the harmonious Federated Alliance. Now, Ambassador Pleck Decksetter and his intrepid crew travel the farthest reaches of the galaxy to explore astounding new worlds, discover their heroic destinies, and meet weird bug creatures and stuff. This is Mission to Zyxx.
[intro music]
BARGIE: Alright, do I look good? Do I look good? Does this look good?
PLECK: Bargie, you look great.
BARGIE: Thank you very much.
PLECK: I mean your floors are shiny…
BARGIE: Thank you.
PLECK: All your buttons are lighting up.
BARGIE: Gotta look good trying to get back in the game, you know what I mean?
PLECK: I think this is gonna be good. Okay, ready?
BARGIE: Alright, um… Press the record inside of me.
PLECK: Okay and we are… rolling.
BARGIE: [sighs] Hello, I am Bargarean Jade. I am reading for the role of Rock #5
PLECK: Great.
BARGIE: You start it off.
PLECK: Oh, sorry. “Ugh, never been this deep in the mine”
BARGIE: Bang, bang, bang. Bang, bang, bang.
PLECK: Ugh, some rock bangin around
BARGIE: Bang.
PLECK: It’s one of these five rocks for sure. Hmm, better break all of them with my Vibro-Axe.
BARGIE: Bang bang. And… scene. Thank you very much, again my name is Bagarean Jade. If you're interested in hiring me I’m a very… big, big fan of all of this. I’m represented currently no agent. Thank you.
[beep]
PLECK: Bargie I think that went really well.
BARGIE: I didn’t seem desperate, right? PLECK: You think they’re casting for Miner #2? Do I look like I could be in a mine? DAR: Absolutely not. Now, I’m going to interrupt you before your fantasies get too out of control.
PLECK: Okay
DAR: I am pleased to present to you… the new C53!
C-53: [Still speaking with a cockney accent] Do I look well, Ambassador Decksetter?
PLECK: Woah, wow! C53 you look great! You fixed your leg!
C-53: Well, I attached a swivel caster to a stick
PLECK: I think it looks great. Now you can get around a little better!
C-53: Well, I still have a bit of a hobble…
PLECK: Sure
C-53: I admit, I’m a bit self conscious
DAR: No, C! You absolutely don’t have to feel that way
PLECK: Yeah you look great!
C-53: Aw, I feel I look quite shabby.
PLECK: No, no! C-53 you look… like you’re ready to get out there and do some diplomatic relations, you know?
DAR: You know what C, why don’t you take a lap and test out that new…
PLECK: Yeah, test out that caster
DAR: That new leg!
C-53: Alright.
DAR: Pleck, can I speak to you for a second?
PLECK: Yeah, yeah, yeah what's up? DAR: I feel incredibly responsible for how pathetic C looks right now.
PLECK: No I mean it’s very pathetic but like in a cute way? DAR: No!
PLECK: No..
DAR: He doesn’t belong in that TINY_TM model!
PLECK: Oh, Dar. You can’t blame yourself for what happened back on Klongtdt. You liberated him in a way, from the shackles of a perfectly functioning…
DAR: Shhhh, stop making me feel better, he’s back
[C-53 hobbles back up to them]
C-53: It took me a little longer than I thought to get around the ship…
DAR: No, you were lightning speed!
PLECK: You were so fast, buddy! I think you can take on the whole Zyxx Quadrant in that frame
C-53: Aw, you’re so kind Ambassador Decksetter.
PLECK: It feels like you kinda came up from like… the mean streets.
DAR: Okay pull it back a little bit.
PLECK: I’m sorry.
C-53: I was made by the wrong Cybernetics corporation
PLECK: Yeah, sure, right. It’s a good thing you have a universal cube, though.
C-53: That’s true, one of the great advantages of the C series is that the cube is highly adaptable
BARGIE: What happens if you put your cube in me?
C-53: Aw I appreciate that Bargie, you’d let me do that? PLECK: Do you have a cube port, Bargie? BARGIE: I do
PLECK: Wait, wait wait. Hold on a second. Bargie, do you have a cube?
BARGIE: No, I’m the ship
PLECK: Okay… I thought so
C-53: Bargie’s artificial intelligence is fused into the very ship, the ship wouldn’t run without her
PLECK: Sure.
BARGIE: But with every ship there’s a cube port for friendship
C-53: Yeah
PLECK: Friendship?
BARGIE: I dunno... it’s like having a voice inside of your head
PLECK: Oh wow. I mean, C-53 you wanna try out Bargie’s cube port?
C-53: I mean if Bargie’s alright with it!
BARGIE: Yeah why not, let’s have fun.
PLECK: Alright uh.. I guess let me take out your cube then? C-53: Thank you very much, just don’t get it wet.
PLECK: I guess.. Sure.
DAR: I don’t trust that, Pleck.
PLECK: Bargie when is your next cleaning session?
BARGIE: It could be now or…
PLECK: Try to hold off on it for the next, I dunno, 15 seconds while we transfer this cube
BARGIE: Alright
PLECK: Dar can you take it out, I don’t wanna touch the cube anymore
DAR: I can take it out.
PLECK: Alright
DAR: I’m gonna take it out in a rather unconventional way, please don’t judge me.
[Dar opens the TINY_TM and extracts C-53’s cube, placing it in Bargie’s port]
PLECK: Woah! That is prehensile. And into the cube slot..
[Powering on noise]
C-53: Hmmm.. That was very gentle Dar, thank you.
PLECK: Woah, C-53! Cool!
BARGIE: Welcome to my world
C-53: Well this is a rather novel experience, being part of the ship
PLECK: This is rad. Do you have a Tellurian port? BARGIE: No.
PLECK: Okay.
DAR: Gross!
C-53: Ambassador Decksetter…
PLECK: No I figured-
DAR: Gross!!! Very gross!
PLECK: No I figured like…
DAR: You really wanna stick your Rangus Dangus in something that badly?
PLECK: Okay. First of all, it’s The Rangus Dangus
DAR: Ughh..
PLECK: And secondly..
C-53: To differentiate from all the other Rangus Danguses out there? DAR: Hahaha, C! I love this.
PLECK: Oh man…
C-53: This is fun for me, I gotta be honest with you.
PLECK: So C-53, now that you and Bargie are sort of like in the same place. Can you describe what it’s like to be a ship? C-53: Well, I have greater sensor capabilities than most droid frames.. Wow, you can see a very long way can’t you Bargie? BARGIE: And he also has access to all of my memories.
PLECK: Woah.
C-53: Many of these are powerfully erotic.
DAR: Ugh, you are so lucky.
PLECK: I am enjoying this immensely.
BARGIE: So what do you think I should do about that memory, huh? What do you think?
C-53: Bargie, if you were I, I would send them a message and clear the air.
BARGIE: We don’t even have to use words, let's just grunt it out.
C-53: Sure.
PLECK: Hey Dar you wanna try that? Should we stare into each other’s eyes and see if we can have a deep conversation? DAR: Yeah… come here Pleck, come real real close.
PLECK: Okay..
DAR: Closer..
PLECK: Very close
[Dar stomps on his foot]
PLECK: Ow! That was… I guess I was sort of asking for it
DAR: Now what did I communicate to you with my eyes in that moment, Pleck
PLECK: Well you didn’t communicate to my eyes you were about to stomp on my foot but then you did.
[Beeps and boops of an incoming transmission]
C-53: Ambassador Decksetter, I have an incoming transmission from Junior Missions Operations Manager, Nermut Bundaloy.
PLECK: Oh great!
[Transmission begins, Nermut is playing… drums?]
PLECK: Hey Nermut, what’s up? DAR: Hey Nerm, woah!
PLECK: What are you doing!?
C-53: You are assuming a highly victorian pose.
PLECK: Nermut, what is happening? What is going on? NERMUT: I am being promoted directly to Senior Missions Operations Manager, can you believe it!?
PLECK: I can’t, how is that possible? That’s amazing!
NERMUT: I don’t know!
DAR: No I cannot believe it, C?
C-53: Senior Missions Operations Manager Nermut Bundaloy, you should know that is highly unusual practice.
NERMUT: They said literally in the form, they said this is a highly unusual practice…
PLECK: Well, great!
C-53: Seems like it checks out then..
NERMUT: Look, I’m gonna hold up the document! See, this is legit!
PLECK: Yeah, hey. Congratulations man! I knew it was always gonna happen for you
NERMUT: Thanks for having faith! I don’t think it’s gonna go to my head, I’m gonna be the guy who’s like totally cool with all the Junior Missions Operations Managers. We’re all gonna like, hang out
PLECK: Yeah, totally
NERMUT: Oh man… I’m gonna sign this, I’m supposed to report to the… sub basement… 21.
PLECK: So, what?
NERMUT: I guess that’s where the promotions happen. Sub-basement 21. At 04:25
PLECK: That’s sort of the middle of the night.
C-53: Seems.. A little irregular.
PLECK: That’s when your promotion is? NERMUT: That’s when the promotion’s happening. It’s crazy, this is a new world. This is Senior Missions Operations Management. This is new, man. These guys are up at the crack of dawn managing!
PLECK: Yeah, well congratulations.
DAR: Wait, does this mean you’re still gonna be our Operations Manager? NERMUT: Oh yeah, you guys are comin’ with all the way to the top
PLECK: Aw yeah, Alright
C-53: I assume we’re a senior ambassador team? NERMUT: Yes! It says.. Haha oh man I didn’t even read that far!
PLECK: How did this happen, this is amazing!
NERMUT: I don’t know they must have figured out how valuable we are, I always knew it! Right?
PLECK/C-53: Yeah…
BARGIE: We’re not used to good news
NERMUT: Pssh, Bargie get used to it.
PLECK: I mean Bargie man. Think about this, if you submit that audition for Rock #5 as a senior ambassadorship..
BARGIE: I could be rock #1.
PLECK: Yeah, skies the limit!
NERMUT: I’ll put in a good word, after 04:25 I’m gonna have some clout!
PLECK: Man. Guys, I dunno how this happened but we are just moving right up!
NERMUT: Okay. Focus, focus…
C-53: Senior Missions Operations Manager, Nermut Bundaloy.
NERMUT: Whaaaaaat!
PLECK: Sounds good, doesn’t it?
C-53: As a SMOM, you get to choose our mission from a number of options. There should be a list of them in front of you now.
NERMUT: Yeah, I think you’re right but there’s only one. I mean honestly, the promotion hasn’t technically happened, this is probably the last one where they just send us and we’re gonna have endless options. So. Wow. Its a vacation atoll…
PLECK: What does that mean
NERMUT: It’s like a place people just go for fun. Vacation Atoll 1. That sounds good!
PLECK: First one.
NERMUT: The first one! And you’re meeting with the Fun-bassador? Look at this photo of her!
BARGIE: Oh yeah, you know what, I usually say bad things about a lot of people. But she’s great, she’s fun. Her name is Funtasia Funfun.
PLECK: Funtasia Funfun!?
BARGIE: She is a riot, if you ever wanna have a good time, that’s who you have a good time with.
NERMUT: Funtasia Funfun is the Fun-bassador of Vacation Atoll 1, and your job is to just go hang out?! Look at this, there’s just a picture of fireworks.
PLECK: Oh man!
NERMUT: That sounds crazy.
PLECK: I am liking this senior ambassador work! Send over the coordinates and we will see you on the other side, buddy.
NERMUT: Here.. they… come.
PLECK: Woo! Well hey, don’t sleep through your alarm okay? NERMUT: Oh, good point. Let me set that.
DAR: Talk soon, Nermie!
NERMUT: Talk soon!
PLECK: Have a good one!
NERMUT: Alright..
[Transmission ends]
PLECK: Man this feels good.
DAR: We are in so much jucking trouble.
C-53: Ambassador Decksetter, I should inform you we have until 04:25 to save Junior Missions Operations Manager Nermut Bundaloy before he is executed and incinerated.
PLECK: What are you talking about!? C-53: Does it seem suspicious to you at all that Nermut Bundaloy, a Junior Missions Operations Manager with no small measure of failure has suddenly rocketed to the position of Senior Missions Operations Manager? PLECK: Well I will say this, he is a very nice guy.
DAR: He is terrible at his job and we are equally bad at ours.
PLECK: Mmhmm, you’re not wrong about that.
C-53: We are being assigned to Vacation Atoll 1, with Funtasia Funfun to just ‘hang out?!’
PLECK: Well, when you say it like that it sounds a little suspicious, yeah.
C-53: Yeah, that’s the version that sounds suspicious. Ambassador Decksetter since leaving my original droid frame and hence, no longer being affected by my restraining bolt. I’ve been making preparations to leave the Federated Alliance.
PLECK: What!? I thought you hated the rebellion!
C-53: Ambassador Decksetter are you not aware to the depths at which a restraining bolt can affect the psychology of a droid? PLECK: I guess not.
C-53: I’ve established fake identities that would allow us to defect and join the rebellion.
PLECK: C-53 this is crazy! Can we do that!?
DAR: Of course we can! And C, don’t have to create a fake identity for me. Dar is a fake identity.
C-53/PLECK: Ohhh
C-53: Well played.
DAR: Thank you
PLECK: Dar, you seem very chill about all this. Is this what you wanted all along? DAR: Of course it was.
PLECK: Oh.
DAR: I never wanted to work for the Federated Alliance, they forced me to.
C-53: Ambassador Decksetter you should know that the Federated Alliance is considered quite lame by most of the galaxy.
PLECK: Oh.
C-53: Consider what our missions have been. We have been sent to secure resources for the Federated Alliance, we have been sent to oppress species, even save the derelict son of one of the council members.
PLECK: Yeah, I mean that was…
BARGIE: Also I got a K’hekk infestation.
PLECK: Well, I wasn’t… I dunno if that was the Alliance’s..
BARGIE: And now C-53 knows how it feels.
C-53: Ugh. This is deeply unpleasant.
PLECK: Mmm.
DAR: Mmhmm.
PLECK: Well hey guys, listen. I ‘ve gotta level with you? When I joined the Federated Alliance, I did for one reason. I wanted to be a hero. And you know, maybe the Alliance is not so great after all! Maybe they’re no better than Monarchy. I’m really starting to realize if I wanna be a hero I need to take matters into my own hands, you know? This is our moment, guys. C-53, Bargie, Dar… you can use your talents for making a difference in this world! We can do this together, huh!? We can save Nermut’s life and go be heroes! Let’s do this, who’s with me!?
DAR: Pleck we’re already 30 seconds away from the Delegator.
PLECK: Oh, okay.
C-53: Ambassador Decksetter I jumped to hyperspace the moment I told you the situation.
PLECK: Great. Alright, that’s great, I just wanted you guys to know that I was on board. ‘Cause I am.
C-53: We’re glad you’re on board.
DAR: But it wouldn’t have mattered.
C-53: We would have had to eject you into space.
BARGIE: Ejecting into space..
PLECK: No!
[Bargie opens her airlock, but quickly recloses it]
BARGIE: Oh, I thought that’s what we’re doing.
PLECK: I was… sliding out. We’re still- what happens if you eject someone while you’re in hyper space?
C-53: It is not good. Have you never seen the videos?
PLECK: No, no I’m not into that.
DAR: If only we had the time because those videos are very fun to watch.
[music]
[The crew begin docking on the Delegator. A transmission comes through.]
COMMANDER VOLTOR: This is Commander Voltor of the Delegator.
PLECK: Uh..
COMMANDER VOLTOR: Hailing Rogue Ship…
PLECK: Uh, hi.
COMMANDER VOLTOR: What’s your Federated Alliance Identification
DAR: Give him your fake FAIC. Give him your fake FAIC!
PLECK: I’m submitting my FAIC right now.
COMMANDER VOLTOR: Ummm yeah, that’s a good FAIC.
PLECK: Thank you. It’s real.
COMMANDER VOLTOR: Well! I will allow you to board the vessel. You’ll notice the Delegator is the pride of the Federated Alliance. One of the most incredible ships we have at our disposal.
PLECK: Yeah, uh-huh
COMMANDER VOLTOR: And from it we run all of our Missions Operations as well as many of our C.L.I.N.T.s reside here.
PLECK: Oh.
COMMANDER VOLTOR: Should anything happen to this vessel the Federated Alliance would feel the crippling blow.
DAR: Is that part of every entry speech?
COMMANDER VOLTOR: I say that to everyone who comes in. Why wouldn’t I? It’s an incredible ship and it’s true!
C-53: Seems a bit like you’d wanna keep that information secret.
COMMANDER VOLTOR: No it’s just, it’s an amazing ship! And honestly should anything happen to it, the Federated Alliance would suffer a crippling- nothing I’ve said is a lie!
PLECK: No, that’s true. It’s good you’re telling the truth.
DAR: This is a great start to the tour!
C-53: It’s not that it’s a lie, it’s just rather too much information to just be handing out.
PLECK: This is our urchin droid.
COMMANDER VOLTOR: Yes, why do you have an urchin droid?
PLECK: We’re actually-
COMMANDER VOLTOR: A gutter rat of a droid!
PLECK: No, no, no..
C-53: I’m just aboard the ship to shine shoes.
DAR: Yes.
COMMANDER VOLTOR: Well, it’s a good thing your Federated Alliance code worked out. Otherwise, should anything happen to this ship… It would be a great blow.
PLECK: Indeed, yep. Yep.
COMMANDER VOLTOR: Just between you and me, this ship was designed by Zwog Tambouie.
PLECK: wow!
COMMANDER VOLTOR: Need I say more?
DAR: Wow.
PLECK: Great, great..
COMMANDER VOLTOR: Welcome, and I hope you don’t find a critical vulnerability.
PLECK: Oh, certainly not. I wouldn’t even look for it. Not interested..
COMMANDER VOLTOR: If you did it would be a crippling blow to the Federated Alliance…
PLECK: Okay…
C-53: Yep, I think we sort of processed that information.
COMMANDER VOLTOR: Welcome aboard The Delegator. Hope you survive the experience, mwahahahaha!
PLECK: Wait, what does that mean? COMMANDER VOLTOR: Proceed to docking.
[They dock inside the massive ship]
DAR: Okay, um..
PLECK: This ship is huge. I think of Bargie as being a big ship.
C-53: This docking bay could hold probably a hundred Bargies.
DAR: But there’s only one Bargie! There’s only one.
C-53: There’s only the one.
PLECK: Number one!
BARGIE: I dunno, right now I’m kind of comparing everything to myself…
D/C-53: Bargie no!
DAR: What is those ships all crowded around over there?
BARGIE: That’s Tiny Toots.
PLECK: Tiny Toots?
BARGIE: Yep, there she is. That’s Tiny Toots.
C-53: She’s huge!
BARGIE: Yep, she’s big and beautiful and… clean.
C-53: She’s had work done, eh?
BARGIE: So much work.
C-53: That’s not original.
[Tiny Toots laughs]
TINY TOOTS: You guys are the best..
BARGIE: Ugh…
PLECK: You know what Bargie? I don’t like Tiny Toots either, seems like kind of a jerk.
[18:37]
BARGIE: Yeah.
PLECK: That seems like fake laughter, that’s the kinda like the laughter a ship would do if she was trying to tell other people how happy she was.
C-53: I’m having suuuch a good time
PLECK: Yeah, exactly.
TINY TOOTS: I’m having such a good time!
DAR: Oh wow
PLECK: You really called that
C-53: That is so like them.
BARGIE: I bet the people inside of her just hate her. I’m a fine- I’m a fine ship! I might not be as big as she is or still have a career
DAR: Bargie’s right though. The people who are on Tiny Toots are also here.
C-53: That means.. Turk Mannaket.
DAR: Yeah.
PLECK: Alright guys, I’ve got a great idea. We put handcuffs on Dar and we pretend we’re bringing her to the prison bay. Then we walk around sort of aimlessly until we find Nermut on this enormous ship and then… dot dot dot… we win!
C-53: Pleck, I’m glad you’re on our side, but you’ve got to know that’s the worst plan I’ve ever heard in my life
PLECK: It seems like it would work if we just did it with confidence
C-53: Why would we do.. I know where Nermut is.
DAR: Yeah, and we’re just planning on entering the Delegator like everyone does. On a tour on the Delegator.
PLECK: Okay. So no handcuffs then.
DAR: No thank you
C-53: Why would we handcuff our best fighter?
PLECK: You’re right.
C-53: It doesn't make any sense!
PLECK: You’re right, it seemed like a better idea in my head.
C-53: Alright.
DAR: Okay.
PLECK: Bargie, let’s open the door. Let’s go give it a shot.
[Door opens]
C.L.I.N.T.: Down on the ground!
P/DAR: Okay!
C.L.I.N.T.: You guys want a tour? You guys wanna tour the Delegator?
PLECK: We’re here for the tour...
DAR: We’re here for the tour of the Delegator.
C.L.I.N.T.: Oh, great cool! Well the Delegator was…
C-53: Can we get up off the ground? C.L.I.N.T.: Oh yes, yes. Everyone get off the ground. Uh..
PLECK: Hold up a second, I’m sorry. What.. if we weren’t here for the tour what would that look like? C.L.I.N.T.: I would blast you.
PLECK: No but I mean, certainly people are here for work or..
C.L.I.N.T.: Well sometimes I’ll say this.. There are rebellion spies everywhere.
C-53: Oh no.. Not rebellion spies…
DAR: I thought the rebellion was just a story we told to children to scare them.
C.L.I.N.T.: We’ve caught a few spies occasionally.
C-53: You must be very clever to catch spies.
C.L.I.N.T.: Well I’m not gonna brag but I’m kinda the Alpha on the Delegator…
PLECK: Of all the C.L.I.N.T.S on the Delegator you’re the Alpha?
C.L.I.N.T.: Don’t tell anybody.
PLECK: What an honor…
DAR: We would never.
C.L.I.N.T.: No but I’m sort of the guy that… catches spies…
DAR: Sure
C-53: Would you let me ask you, how do you determine a spy from a regular member of the Federated Alliance? C.L.I.N.T.: Well, that’s a great question. Two things, one I ask a question: are you a spy?
PLECK: Sure
C.L.I.N.T.: And if they answer in the affirmative…
DAR: Then they are the spy…
PLECK: Blast em.
C.L.I.N.T.: The ol’ Blaster.
C-53: That’s a good method.
C.L.I.N.T.: And if they don’t then I’ll kinda say, “well, I’ve got my eye on you..” and I look to see if they do any spy type stuff. Most of the time they don’t, sometimes I lose ‘em.
C-53: What’s ‘spy type stuff’
C.L.I.N.T.: You know like, taking pictures, asking questions about the Delegator
PLECK: That sounds more like tourist stuff
C.L.I.N.T.: Well, then I’ve killed many tourists. Ha ha ha.
[They all nervously laugh]
C.L.I.N.T.: Alright if you walk with me this way I’ll show you the commissary
[They all politely oo and aahh]
PLECK: What’s your call sign?
C.L.I.N.T.: 5534.
PLECK: 5534.. Great. I think the 5000’s were a solid crop of C.L.I.N.T.S.
C.L.I.N.T.: I’m so glad you said that…
PLECK: And honestly, lotta Alphas in there.
C.L.I.N.T.: Oh. Well, I mean there’s yeah..
PLECK: A lot of sort of sub-Alphas, but I think the best gotta be in there
C.L.I.N.T.: I’m totally with you, and our faces are less…
PLECK: Punchable.
C.L.I.N.T.: Yeah! Yeah, totally! I like you guys. You kinda get us, that’s pretty cool.
DAR: 5534…
C.L.I.N.T.: Yes.
DAR: We know you have to take us on this ‘beta route’ of the tour.
C.L.I.N.T.: Yeah..
DAR: I know as an alpha what you really want to give us…
PLECK: Like a cool-
DAR: Oh you know...
C.L.I.N.T.: I would love to take you guys on the alpha tour
DAR: Oh we would be honored to go on the alpha tour.
PLECK: We wanna see the GUTS of the delegator
C.L.I.N.T.: You guys wanna go to the sub basements?
C-53: Oooo that sounds quite interesting.
PLECK: Now we’re talking, yes
C.L.I.N.T.: What sub basement do you wanna go to?
C-53: Let’s just pick a random number..
DAR: Yeah..
C.L.I.N.T.: Cool.
DAR: 21?
C-53: As random as any other number
C.L.I.N.T.: Oh wow. That’s the execution and incineration sub basement!
DPC-53: Woooah!
C.L.I.N.T.: Great choice!
PLECK: Oh wow, what are the other ones for?
C.L.I.N.T.: Ummm some of it’s plumbing, some of its electricity, one of em is just miscellaneous. Alright, let’s keep going… Sub basement 21?
DAR: Sure! Totally random!
C.L.I.N.T.: Alright, you guys are Alpha Tourists, I love it.
PLECK: Yeah.
C.L.I.N.T.: I’ll tell you this much, that place is crawling with C.L.I.N.T.S and forcer droids, a lot of big things. It’s pretty heavily guarded
PLECK: Really? Oh
DAR: Wowee.
C.L.I.N.T.: I’ve sent many tourists there… That I thought were spies.
C-53/PLECK: Sure, sure
C.L.I.N.T.: Alright
C-53: Sorry, did you say enforcer droids?
C.L.I.N.T.: Yeah. Big ol’ enforcer droid. They have turret lasers for hands, sharp spikes that come out of their head. And you didn’t hear it from me but they’re cube compatible so that’s pretty great.
PLECK: Universal cube..
DAR: Pretty great!
C.L.I.N.T.: Wow, I’m really telling you guys a lot, aren’t i?
DAR: I mean hey! You’re the alpha!
PLECK: Because you’re the best!
DAR: You know exactly what’s going on here.
C.L.I.N.T.: Yeah I’m just a good tour guide.
DAR: You are a great tour guide.
C-53: That’s the sign of being a really great tour guide.
C.L.I.N.T.: Yeah.
ENFORCER DROID: Welcome to this hall, I am an enforcer droid. Show me your FAIC.
PLECK: Right here, right here! Wow, these things are enormous.
ENFORCER DROID: This is a good FAIC. Hello. Hello, C.L.I.N.T.. How are you today?
C.L.I.N.T.: At work, good. Enforcer Droid, these guys are with me they’re part of the tour! They decided to come see the sub basement.
ENFORCER DROID: The commissary is not very good. That was a joke. [Laughs horrifically]
PLECK: Wow. I like these enforcer droids, they’re chill.
ENFORCER DROID: Do you like pancakes? I like pancakes. Show me your FAIC.
C-53: Uh.. 5534 if you don’t mind, I think I might just hang out with these droids for a bit, just get to know each other on a droid to droid level.
C.L.I.N.T.: Right, I think that’s totally fine. Well you two come with me.
PLECK: Sure, sure.
DAR: Yep!
C.L.I.N.T.: Oh look there’s another garrison of C.L.I.N.T.S
PLECK: Oh wow, hey!
C.L.I.N.T.: Hey guys!
[C.L.I.N.T.s all greet each other and enter conversation]
PLECK: Not a competition, guys.
DAR: Pleck, while they’re talking about this?
PLECK: Sure, sure, sure.
DAR: While they’re distracted..
[The two sneak off down further in the sub basement]
PLECK: It’s dark back here
DAR: We have to find Nermut.
PLECK: I mean, right…
DAR: Which of these different sized cells would Nermut be inside of?
PLECK: [sighs] I mean I’m gonna venture guess the smallest ones? Is that what you meant?
DAR: Yep, that is exactly what I meant.
PLECK: You know Dar, it’s really fun being down here just the two of us like… I feel like a lot of the time there’s like, mission to do…
DAR: This is not the time to come onto me, Pleck
PLECK: No, that is not- no! That’s not what its about, I’m just saying it’s really great to be on an adventure with you, you know? I usually feel like sometimes- it’s mostly like C-53 going blah blah stick to the mission!- or like some native species of a planet is like- I’m gonna infect your blood!- But it’s great, it’s just you in me, in this dark hallway searchin for…
DAR: When you say that to me Pleck? It is astounding to me that you didn’t pick up on how weird it was that we’re getting a promotion
PLECK: Yeah. Yeah, the idea of going to a vacation planet after all of our blood has been infected…
DAR: You really can boil down every mission to native species infecting our blood.
PLECK: Infecting our blood.
DAR: That happened on three different planets!
PLECK: Yeah the Zyxx quadrant sort of sucks, right?
DAR: It is the ass end of space.
PLECK: Yeah.
[music]
Hark Tardigast: Pilot Hark Tardigast with what surely will be my final commincade. I’m barely balancing on just a single inch of rock as this lava flow rushes me into a rocky cave. Oh no, the walls are like spikes. I’m doomed! Wait… what’s this? It can't be.. It’s a monarchy fighter! A pilot must have stashed it here while waiting out the battle of Sistoo. But surely it’s power matrix has long since destabilized. Oh baby she runs! Ha ha ha! Tardigast back in action! Woohoo! This is rebel pilot Hark Tardigast, en route to rejoin squadron! I repeat, Hark Tardigast returning to squadron. I’m about to escape the gravity of this hellish planet and after that I shall not return! I never lost hope. I always knew that I would survive to fight on against the loathsome Federated Alliance alongside my fellow rebels. Oh no… there goes my main thrust. No way to maneuver. Ah! This is rebel Hark Tardigast, I’ve just ejected from a commandeered Monarchy fighter, adrift in deep space in a failing stasis pod. Send help, or this surely will be my last message! Hark Tardigast, signing off.
[music]
NERMUT: Let’s see… I just wanna thank my parents who there lack of belief in me I think made me. I just wanna thank… I’m so excited to accept this honor… no.
DAR: Nermut!
PLECK: Nermut?
NERMUT: What? Huh!? Pleck?
PLECK: What are you doing down here!
DAR: No, no..
NERMUT: Dar!?
DAR: We’re on the other side of this tiny little door.
NERMUT: Oh, I knew this was a prank! Ahh that’s so cool you guys are here!
DAR: What do you mean you knew this is a prank? NERMUT: Well I’m chained up, but it’s a weird way to go into a promotion and I knew it was a distraction cause they were bringing out guys here for the ceremony!
DAR: No Nermut! They’re about to incinerate you!
NERMUT: No, no, no. I’m getting a promotion, remember?
DAR: Ugghh..
PLECK: Are you still under the impression, even after being in this cell, that you’re still going to get a promotion?
NERMUT: I’m memorizing… I’m planning my speech.
PLECK: Dar you should probably tear the door off this…
[A loud bang as Dar rips the prison door off]
PLECK: Wow! I can’t believe that worked!
NERMUT: Wait wait wait..
PLECK: Nermut, listen. Listen. We’re here to save you.
NERMUT: What?
PLECK: Get inside this flap quickly and let’s get out of here.
NERMUT: No, what are you talking about?
DAR: I’m sorry that this is how you have to experience my flaps for the first time, I definitely thought it would go a very very different way.
[Dar sticks Nermut into one of her flaps]
[The C.L.I.N.T.s bust in, guns trained on the two]
C.L.I.N.T.: Hey what are you doing? Get down on the ground!
PLECK: Oh that is a lot of C.L.I.N.T.S..
C.L.I.N.T.S Get down on the ground Get down on the ground
PLECK: Dar?
DAR: Yeah.
PLECK: If I don’t make it tell Bargie her haul is shiny.
DAR: What are you doing?
PLECK: Here goes nothing.
[Pleck stands up, wood sabre held aloft]
C.L.I.N.T.: Woah he’s got a stick? What is that!
PLECK: It’s a wood sabre. [swings] It’s pretty similar.
C.L.I.N.T.: [Fire on Pleck and Dar] Wait what’s going on… The space around him… There’s too much space between us!
[Dar stands, brandishing an ion gun and begins shooting C.L.I.N.T.s]
DAR: Lock and load, baby!
PLECK: [heavy breathing]
DAR: Ugh.
PLECK: Dar, did you see that!?
DAR: Yeah, I shot everybody.
PLECK: I just defeated- oh.
DAR: I brought the ion gun.
PLECK: But. I feel like part of it was I was using my wood sabre while you were-
DAR: Shooting everybody.
PLECK: Uh, okay. Okay but-
DAR: While you danced out there begging to be shot.
PLECK: Sure but- I’m just saying they didn’t shoot me which is like-
DAR: A small miracle?
PLECK: Well it’s not a miracle, it’s The Space, maybe.
DAR: Ugh! You know what, the Space is real! Now we have to get out of here and we have to find C, we have to get back to Bargie.
PLECK: Okay.
[They enter the next room and are greeted by a dozen Enforcer Droids]
ENFORCER DROIDSAMMO: I WANT TO DESTROY, I WANT TO DESTROY, I WANT TO DESTROY.
PLECK: Ugh…
DAR: Oh juck.
[Enforcer Droid’s lasers power up]
DAR: Pleck… I just want you to know that I had a really good time being on this team. And…
PLECK: What?
DAR: As much as I wanted to hate every second of it I really came to think of all of you as my family. And Pleck, it is amazing they’ve allowed us this much time to talk without firing on us but I actually don’t think you’re awful.
PLECK: Dar that really means a lot.
DAR: Now let’s… Go get shot?
C-53: [From one of the Enforcer Droids] Ambassador Decksetter, Dar… I have a pair of gattling turbo lasers that might be relevant to this discussion…
PLECK: C-53!?!
[C-53 turns on the Enforcer Droids and blasts them with his turbo lasers.]
C-53: It turns out enforcer droids are extremely easy to hijack.
PLECK: Oh, wow! Well..
C-53: This is what happens when you cut corners on artificial intelligence.
PLECK: Sure. C-53 listen, we got Nermut. He’s inside Dar.
NERMUT: Hey C-53!
PLECK: It was awkward but sort of feels like we’ve been building to this the whole time.
C-53: Ambassador Decksetter, they’re locking down the sub basements. I advise that we return to the docking bay as soon as possible.
PLECK: Oh boy, I dunno how we’re gonna get back there. We’re gonna run into a bunch of dudes, right?
C-53: Highly likely, yes.
PLECK: Ugh…
NERMUT: Guys. Dar, can I come out?
DAR: No
PLECK: I don’t think it’s safe Nermut.
NERMUT: Okay. I just know all these rooms from when I was looking for where my interview was. I drew a pretty good map on my belly.
PLECK: Is that what those lines were?
NERMUT: Yeah. If you eject me you can look at my belly map.
PLECK: You know what, just describe it to us.
DAR: There’s no time, because you’d have to pass through a chute and I’m not in the mood right now
PLECK: Yeah, nobody wants that.
NERMUT: Let me just put on this head lamp… Okay. So…
PLECK: Don’t have a lot of time, Nermut
NERMUT: Alright so. If you’re faced the way I think you are there’s a blue door up ahead right?
EVERYONEl: Yes
NERMUT: Okay yeah yeah yeah. You’re gonna go through 17 of those doors. They’re all in a row..
PLECK: In a straight line?
NERMUT: In a straight line. Go and-
DAR: Go!
[They begin hurrying down the hallways going through doors]
NERMUT: When you get through there there’s gonna be a ladder, it’s not gonna be big enough for Dar…
C-53: We’re still working on the doors.
NERMUT: Okay.
C-53: Just seems like..
PLECK: Nermut we will let you know when we need our next direction
NERMUT: Great
PLECK: If the first direction is 17 doors in a row, we’re just gonna do that
DAR: And you’re sure there’s no shortcuts?
NERMUT: Oh you wanted the fastest way.
DAR: Yes!
DAR: Nermut!
NERMUT: Yeah yeah yeah. Just go up, there’s.. If you’ve gone through 1, 2, 3 doors, look up there’s a hatch.
DAR: We’ve gone through 6 doors at this point.
NERMUT: Okay, there’s a hatch in every room. Just go up it.
DAR: We just had to go through one door.
C-53: We could have gone through a hatch at any time? NERMUT: I assumed you want the coolest way!
PLECK: No!
DAR: Nermut we’re trying to save you!
NERMUT: Alright, I’m still putting it through my head they were gonna kill me!
DAR: Okay. Hatch.
NERMUT: Yeah, go up through the hatch. Ok.
[They climb the hatch]
PLECK: So now we would. Theoretically we’re on sub basement 20.
NERMUT: You’re on sub basement 20. You’re gonna go up 19 hatches. Climb up 19-
C-53: Before we do this
NERMUT: Yes
C-53: Is there an elevator?
NERMUT: The elevator could be full of C.L.I.N.T.S! But yeah of course there’s an elevator
C-53: That just seems like that would save a lot of time.
NERMUT: Okay, so you’re gonna go through two blue doors…
C-53: Okay.
NERMUT: Alright. See the elevator?
DAR: Yes.
NERMUT: Okay.
C-53: It’s sort of all we were looking for.
DAR: Right?
C-53: This goes straight to the docking bay?
NERMUT: Uh hang on let me look at my belly. Uhh.. yeah, push floor DB.
C-53: Okay.
DAR/PLECK: Docking Bay.. right
NERMUT: Whatever it’s called..
C-53: What does it stand for?
NERMUT: It stands for De Bevel, it was supposed to be de level. It’s a misprint.
C-53: So it should say “DL?”
NERMUT: Yeah
C-53: But it’s “de level” that leads to docking level?
NERMUT: It’s docking and dining.
C-53: Oh.
DAR: Oh the commissary was on the same level! That’s true!
[music]
[Several doors, hatches, and elevators later they arrive to the docking bay]
DAR: Where is Bargie?
COMMANDER VOLTOR: [clapping slowly]
PLECK: Ugh..
COMMANDER VOLTOR: Impressive.
PLECK: Oh. Commander Voltor.
COMMANDER VOLTOR: It’s me, Commander Voltor.
PLECK: Mmm, from before
C-53: Did we do something that pleased you in some way to earn your applause?
COMMANDER VOLTOR: No, that was a sarcastic clap
EVERYONE: Oh
DAR: Can we hear it again?
COMMANDER VOLTOR: [claps]
C-53: I could go either way on that clap
DAR: Yeah
COMMANDER VOLTOR: Well I’m the one who clapped so I’m the one who knows..
C-53: Outside of an artist, it’s up for interpretation
PLECK: I would say if we hadn’t been looking at your face, we would never know if that was sarcastic or very impressed
C-53: It was just slow..
COMMANDER VOLTOR: Well why wouldn’t you be looking at my face? My face is showing you volumes right now.
C-53: Well you started clapping before we knew…
COMMANDER VOLTOR: But to not see my face would take most of the experience away
C-53: It would be extremely disappointing
COMMANDER VOLTOR: After allowing your own imagination of what I looked like
C-53: Sounds terrible
COMMANDER VOLTOR: Do you want to know the reason why I was clapping? PDAR: Sure
C-53: yes.
COMMANDER VOLTOR: If I’m impressed with you, breaking in the delegator. And you, boy. Pink one.
PLECK: Yeah? Well..
COMMANDER VOLTOR: You seem to have the Space about you
PLECK: Uh thank you for saying that. I actually do. I happen to be well on my way to being a Zima warrior.
DAR: Oh boy.
COMMANDER VOLTOR: Well, Zima warrior. You think you’ve won, don’t you? You think you’re so smart and brave
PLECK: Well we haven’t won yet.
COMMANDER VOLTOR: No you haven’t, no you haven’t! Because as soon as you try to leave the Delegator on your ship, the Council of Seven will remotely detonate it and everyone on board. [evil laugh] So…
PLECK: Wait. What do you mean? COMMANDER VOLTOR: Every ambassador ship in the Federated Alliance has a bomb on it that the Council of Seven can detonate. We will always win. We are better, we are stronger, we have the power of best friendship behind us. You will never win. None of you can win, you pink boy with the Space. You, giant thing with an ion cannon. And you, giant robot that’s very deadly now. And also you, little.. What are you? You're a little-
WINK: I’m Wink!
C-53: Oh my gosh
PLECK: Wink!?
SAMMO: And I’m Sammo!
PLECK: What are you guys doing here!?
SAMMO: Take him out Wink!
WINK: Yummy! [eats his face]
COMMANDER VOLTOR: [screams in pain as his face is devoured]
[Everyone yells in terror]
C-53: Wink just ate Commander Voltor’s face…
WINK: You guys want some? DAR: No thank you…
SAMMO: You guys want some of the face?
PLECK: That was horrible.
WINK: Hi you guys!
SAMMO: Hi you guys!
PLECK: Sammo and Wink what are you guys doing here!?
SWINK: Guys, we’re spies for the rebellion!
PLECK: How is that possible?
WINK: What, what do you mean? How is anything possible?
DAR: how is that possible, the amount of dust you guys do?
PLECK: Yeah you guys are just dusted up constantly
WINK: Dust makes us fun!
SAMMO: Yeah dust makes us fun!
PLECK: I’m not denying that!
SAMMO: And also heightens our senses and our capabilities for espionage.
WINK: Yeah, we’re like, really good at it? And we’ve like, been doing it for awhile- we’ve been following you guys for a long time!
C-53: Ambassador Decksetter, consider the fact that Sammo and Wink have followed us all around the Zyxx Quadrant keeping tabs on us, all the while under the perfect cover of being hardcore dust addicts.
WINK: That’s not a cover, we really are
C-53: Oh
SAMMO: It’s sort of an added bonus
WINK: Yeah.
SAMMO: Tell em what we did with the bomb.
WINK/SAMMO: Aaaaaaah!
WINK: We got rid of it and put it in the middle of the Delegator!
SAMMO: We put it in the reactor
PLECK: Huh
C-53: In the reactor of the delegator?
SAMMO: Yeah! We went on a tour and the guy showed us where the reactor was and they said Zwog Tambouie made this and it’ll blow up the entire thing if you put a detonator in there
WINK: So we put the bomb in there!
C-53: How did you find the bomb?
SAMMO: Well, we been intercepting communicade from the council of seven for weeks.
WINK: Yeah, but also we straight up asked Bargie and she told us
SAMMO: Yes, she did. She’s known the entire time that there’s a giant bomb on her.
C-53: Hmm
SAMMO: And we asked her why she didn’t tell you guys, what did she say Wink? WINK: She’s like, ‘maybe it was meant to be like, maybe I should just accept it. Also my self tape wasn’t that good.”
EVERYONE :ohhh
SAMMO: We ended up shooting…
WINK: Yeah, we helped direct it. She’s so good as rock #5
SAMMO: She’s great
PLECK: I thought my reading was pretty good
WSAMMO: Ehhhhh…
PLECK: Okay
NERMUT: Anyway, is there a timer on the bomb?
PLECK: Oh yeah probably we should go
SAMMO: Here’s the thing that’s great.
WINK: Yeah.
SAMMO: So we went on the tour..
WINK: And then we took a break and did some more dust
SAMMO: Yeah. We did like, oh my gosh this dust was..
WINK: So good…
NERMUT: Is there a timer!?
SAMMO: What? What’s the question? C-53: Are we under some time crunch? SAMMO: Oh, well I mean there’s guards and the alarm’s still going. We just ate off the face of a Commanding officer.
C-53: Do you wanna come with us or..?
SAMMO: Nah we got an escape pod with a big ol’ pile of dust in it.
C-53: Right..
PLECK: Alright.
NERMUT: They literally won’t say whether there’s a timer.
PLECK: Yeah we should-
C-53: we should go.
DAR: Alright, we’re all going!
SAMMO: When you guys leave on Bargie the council of Seven is going to activate the bomb, but instead of blowing up Bargie it’s gonna blow up the Delegator!
WSAMMO: Ha ha ha!
SAMMO: That’s a dust plan, mother jucker.
C-53: It’s a pretty good plan.
DAR: Honestly surprisingly very cool.
PLECK: I literally never thought I would say this in my entire life, Sammo and Wink. Thank you for saving our lives.
SAMMO: Long live the rebellion. This is where we leave ya.
WINK: Put on some sick shades.
SAMMO: Yeah…
WINK: Boom boom boom!
PLECK: Uh Bargie, could you open the hatch please? We’re gonna take off here.
BARGIE: Alright, everybody inside. BTW I have a bomb in me.
[Bargie opens]
PLECK: Oh, no..
BARGIE: Don’t worry I’m not a two faced monster, I should be more honest with you when I find a bomb.
C-53: I do appreciate your candor but we need to get off the ship immediately.
BARGIE: Alright. Also, I did have a long discussion with Tiny Toots to be honest, I don’t think she’s so bad.
PLECK: Oh.
BARGIE: I think it’s one of those things where you just talk about how great you are, put it all out there…
PLECK: Yeah, Bargie we should probably take off..
BARGIE:... what are you gonna do? You just can’t give up on people. And so we started talking and now I know the name of a new ship! She’s a new ship friend…
PLECK: Great, Bargie. We gotta get out of here.
B… he’s okay. We decided to put all our differences behind…
C-53: That’s excellent.
PLECK: That’s great, Bargie.
C-53: Ambassador Decksetter, can you insert me into the cube slot?
PLECK: Sure. Here you go.
[Pleck inserts C-53]
NERMUT: Can I come out!?
BARGIE:... she might be big… she might be small…
PLECK: Just one second Nermut.
DAR: Nermut, hold on.
PLECK: Just relax.
BARGIE:... needs to listen to me sometimes…
PLECK: [sighs] Alright.
BARGIE: Yeah yea yeah, let’s get in here. Let’s all go.
C-53: I’ve already jumped us to hyperspace, Bargie.
BARGIE: Oh. Alright.
[music]
Rolphus Tiddle: Attention rebels this is your calm and collective leader Rolphus Tiddle with a critical announcement. Support for the rebellion against the Federated Alliance comes from MeUndies. Does your junk-
Seesu Gundu: Attention rebels! Brace yourself for exciting news!
ROLPHUS TIDDLE: Excuse me, excuse me this channel is in use.
SEESU GUNDU: Oh, sorry I didn’t…
ROLPHUS TIDDLE: Wait. Seesu?
SEESU GUNDU: Rolphus?
ROLPHUS TIDDLE: We agreed we weren’t going to-
SEESU GUNDU: But I have a really important-
ROLPHUS TIDDLE: No, no. That was part of the agreement. You get the channel from 6:35- 17:80
SEESU GUNDU: Oh juck the agreement. I’m not gonna put the rebellion on hold just because my ex-husband insists on hogging the encrypted frequency to sell underwear.
ROLPHUS TIDDLE: That underwear is making this rebellion possible!
SEESU GUNDU: Oh really?
ROLPHUS TIDDLE: You always-
SEESU GUNDU: Well my spies just blew up an Alliance administrative ship
ROLPHUS TIDDLE: Wait, what? SEESU GUNDU: Yes! The Delegator has just been destroyed. That’s what I got on thsi channel to announce.
ROLPHUS TIDDLE: That’s… amazing
SEESU GUNDU: It’s a huge win for the rebellion! And we owe it all to a team of heroic ambassadors who defected.
ROLPHUS TIDDLE: Seesu I owe you an apology. Maybe it’s not the underwear that makes this rebellion possible, maybe it’s the people. Long live the rebellion, Commander Gundu.
SEESU GUNDU: Long live the rebellion, General Tiddle.
ROLPHUS TIDDLE: Tiddle out.
SEESU GUNDU: Ow.
[music]
DAR: Alright Nermut, get ready
NERMUT: Okay
DAR: [grunts and slides him out]
NERMUT: ugh!
PLECK: Nermut!
NERMUT: Oh boy..
PLECK: What’s up buddy!?
NERMUT: Oh man. I’m inside the Bargarean Jade!
PLECK: Nermut!
C-53: You made it, Nermut.
NERMUT: Ahh!
PLECK: You know Nermut, I was right, you are adorable.
NERMUT: Thanks? Oh my gosh, this is insane. I’ve only seen this on movies…
PLECK: Just sit down..
DAR: We just wanna get your vitals.
NERMUT:[Falls over] Oh, I fell over.
C-53: Nermut maybe just drink this juice.
NERMUT: Oh, thank you. [sips] Guys I… I don’t think I’m getting that promotion.
DAR: Oh, Nermut.
PLECK: Yeah that’s probably not gonna happen.
NERMUT: Cause they were… gonna kill me.
C-53: Yes. They were…
DAR: Yes.
PLECK: Well one thing’s for sure, buddy. We’re outlaws. Big time outlaws.
NERMUT: Oh my gosh…
C-53: That’s true
PLECK: How does it feel to be a hero?
NERMUT: Oh man
PLECK: The rebellion is gonna raise us up! They’re gonna take us through town on their shoulders!
NERMUT: Wow.
C-53: We’ll be able to walk into nearly any bar in the galaxy and …
NERMUT: We’ll see a picture of ourselves that says ‘wanted’
PLECK: Yeah
C-53: That’s also true,
DAR: That’s true
[Beeps and boops of an incoming transmission]
C-53: Ambassador Decksetter, I…
PLECK: Actually?
C-53: I guess I don’t have to say that.
PLECK: Yeah you can sort of, say whatever you want! How bout Professor Decksetter.
C-53: Well that’s inaccurate.
PLECK: Okay
C-53: Sugar Cane I have an incoming-
PLECK: No, no, no, that’s not gonna work.
C-53: Alright, very well. Pleck I have an incoming transmission from Sammo and Wink
PLECK: Oh, okay. Hey!
[Transmission starts]
SWINK: Hey guys! Hiiii!
SAMMO: Good news!
WINK: Good news!
SAMMO: Delegator… well, we can actually show you the footage.
WINK: Oh yeah! Sick!
SAMMO: Sick! This is the delegator blowing up
[Image of the Delegator exploding]
EVERYONE: Woah..
NERMUT: I can see my office window.
C-53: That is a lot of ship to explode
SAMMO: Yeeeah. It’s better if you’re on dust. Seriously, we’ve been watching it so many times.
WINK: It’s like dancing colors! And you’re like, are you my mother!? Ha ha ha!
SAMMO: Yeah!
C-53: Is that Tiny Toots?
SAMMO: Yes, it is. Here’s the kicker, guys. Here’s the great thing. You guys aren’t even blamed for it. Nobody knows that it was you guys.
PLECK: Oh.
SAMMO: Everybody’s pinning it on Tiny Toots and Turk Manniket!
WINK: Uh oh!
SAMMO: They’re the biggest outlaws in the galaxy!
PLECK: Oh…
SAMMO: No one has any idea who you guys are!
WINK: Yeah they’re already praising them. LIke, both sides.
SAMMO: Yeah both sides. The Federated Alliance thinks of them as an incredible threat and the rebellion is so excited about them!
DAR/PLECK: Oh…
SAMMO: Yeah, nobody knows that you did anything
PLECK: Yeah. Okay.
C-53: Sort of par for the course, i guess.
PLECK: Yeah.
SAMMO: Yeah I guess so.
PLECK: I guess the more things change, the more they stay the same.
SAMMO: Whatever, whatever…
WINK: If you ever want dust..
SAMMO: If you ever need dust or anything, or wanna join the rebellion..
PLECK: Sure, sure. Well maybe we’ll see you around.
SAMMO: Yeah, maybe you will. What’re you guys gonna do now that you’ve destroyed the Delegator? C-53: It seems we are free to choose our own destiny.
SAMMO: Cool man, cool. Totally cool.
WINK: So cool.
SAMMO: Have you turned it off yet, Wink? Have you turned the thing off?
WINK: What?
PLECK: it’s still on.
SAMMO: Are we still…
[They snort dust]
[Transmission ends]
PLECK: Well guys uh… what’s next?
NERMUT: What’s not next?
DAR: What.. is next.
[Silence]
NERMUT: Can I like uh.. See the warm bean?
EVERYONE: Oh.
C-53: Yeah we’ve been keeping in a cup of water, we kinda forgot about it.
DAR: Yeah it’s around here..
PLECK: I use it to make tea because it’s faster than the replicator.
NERMUT: What. That is a relic.
BARGIE: Sometimes I like to go fast and slow so I roll it around
PLECK: That’s a real hoot.
NERMUT: You roll the bean around just by changing the speed of the entire ship.
Everyone: yeah.
C-53: Well, anyway Nermut. Here’s the bean. [C-53 hands Nermut the relic]
NERMUT: Oh yeah, I’ll just pull it out of this water. Wow, it’s..
C-53: Looks much larger in your hands.
NERMUT: Wow, this is big and it’s…
C-53: Actually, that’s bigger than I remember it being
NERMUT: Is it always throbbing? Is it always..
C-53: No it’s never doing..
DAR: Nermut what are you doing to it? NERMUT: Nothing I’m just holding it..
BARGIE: what is happening
NERMUT: There’s light coming out of it
C-53: Well that’s not what I expected to be in there
[outtro]
C-RED-IT5: C-RED-IT5 credits and attributions droid, commencing outro protocol.
Ambassador Pleck Decksetter was played by Alden Ford
C-53 was played by Jeremy Bent
Security Officer Dar was played by Allie Kokesh
Bargie the Ship, the Enforcer Droids, and Wink were played by Moujan Zolfaghari
Junior Missions Operations Manager Nermut Bundaloy was played by Seth Lind
Clone Light Infantry Nomadic Troopers, Commander Voltor, and Sammo were played by Winston Noel
Mission to Zyxx is recorded at Braund Studios in Greenwood, Brooklyn by engineer Shane O’Connell
This episode edited by Seth Lind with sound design and mix by Shane O’Connell
Music by Brendan Ryan
Opening crawl narration by Jeremy Crutchley
Ship design for the Bargarean Jade by Eric Geusz
Mission to Zyxx is brought to this galaxy by AudioBoom. Thanks, AudioBoom!
This concludes season one of Mission to Zyxx.